Wow, what a summer this has been so far! I don't really want to complain, because it really does absolutely nothing to remedy any situation so I am not complaining but rather exhaling and letting it all out.
In June, out of the blue (actually during a BD session) the room suddenly started spinning. I had to literally jump up and hold my head as the room came to a sudden stop. Initially I thought DH had perhaps bumped my cervix a little too hard and caused the spinning however, it kept happening...and especially at night when I went to sleep. This freaked me out beyond explanation and I guess it's okay to admit that I started having severe panic attacks from the dizzy spells. I started to dred going to sleep and even kept myself up for most of the night until 1 night I was sitting here on the computer and I turned my head to the right and tilted it back to look at the dog and the room spun again. All of a sudden I had this hot sensation crawl up my back, onto my ears and tingling and numbness on my entire right side of my face and head. My heart started racing, I broke out in a sweat and called my mother. Mind you this was 3am. She seems to be the ONLY person who can talk me out of a panic attack (I won't go on meds, please do not suggest it)I hopped in the shower, cause the shower for some reason made it feel better. I decided to get ready and just sit up on the couch until 8am and head to the ER. I went to the ER and they first suspected I was pregnant because I was late (unusually long cycle). I explained to the Physician that it is impossible because 1) I am infertile and 2) we have been using pull out method just in case. (I do not have an established hematologist or high risk ob to prescribe Lovenox so I will not try to get pregnant on my own until my upcoming appointment with my new RE). He said, there is always hope, and always the chance of a miracle. So I POAS. When he came back he looked at the test and said "Damn, I was hoping on a miracle" and I told him not to be upset because I didn't want to be pregnant at that time anyway. He did some maneuvers with my head and the rooms spun. He made me follow his finger with my eyes and said that my right eye seems to lag and pull when moved in one direction fast. Diagnosis- BPPV (Benign Proximal Positional Vertigo).
So then I decided to go to an Allergist on a hunch since antihistamine started making my vertigo feel better. Results - severe allergy to Dust Mites, high allergy to Mold and Cockroaches (Weird), slight allergy to Pollen, Dog and bird feathers. No food Allergies. She also said I had what appeared to be fluid in my ears...so off to the ENT I went.
So I go to the ENT and he has a look and he isn't convinced I have fluid in my ears despite what the Allergist said. I explained that she did this thing with some equipment that measured the response in my ear and it did not make a Bell shape. He said he thinks I have built up scar tissue from years of chronic ear infections. I've had problems with my ears forever, especially as a child. My sinuses are inflamed from years of dust mite allergies that I never knew I had. I also have a deviated septum (My dad did too) So I have been taking Claritin-D and haven't had a panic attack since. I am also using some nasal spray Patanase.
The ENT schedules me a hearing test and I have slight hearing loss in both ears, but more so to do with Pitch.
Then we do an ENG test, they blew air in my ears, I wore goggles and had to follow some red dot.
Diagnosis- BPPV. So I am going for Occupational therapy next Wednesday.
Monday- I have my appointment with SIRM to get Immune testing done!!
Tuesday is an appointment with a Vein doctor to check the circulation in my leg just to make sure I have no clots before we start hormonal medications for IVF. Then I have my endocrinologist appointment after, to see how my thyroid is doing. I feel good, so I hope that is a good thing.
Thursday I have my GYN appointment to check out everything and get copies of my chart for new RE.
Friday- I am sure will be 2nd appointment with therapist..which brings me to where I am going tomorrow.
I bit the bullet and decided to make an appointment with a Clinical Psychologist. I decided against a psychiatrist because I won't take the medication. It is fine for other people and I am all for it if they need it, but I won't take it myself for personal reasons. So tomorrow is my first session. Which is great since today marks the 2 year anniversary of my Father's untimely death. His death will probably play a significant role in my treatment as will my battle with infertility and our miscarriage. I decided to make an appointment when I decided I could no longer live my life in fear. Fear of death and of bad things happening. I need to get over this because it is just one thing keeping me from doing IVF because I am affraid of dying - during stimming, ER, pregnancy or birth. I am VERY afaid of it..and I need someone to talk to about my fears without feeling judged.
Other than that, I feel pretty good. Going to summer school, taking the 2nd of my 3 foregin language classes that I need to Graduate. Then I have 1 English course in the Spring and I am done with CLASSES, but I have to do 1 year of internship (Student Teaching) I decided to get my classes out of the way before so that I can invest all my time into teaching...and hopefully sometime next summer deliver a healthy baby.
I have my appointment with the new RE on August 28th, so every single test will be out of the way and we can move forward with IVF in November or October. I haven't decided when I am ready yet. I will make that decision by our Appointment at the end of next month. I also found out my SIL's SIL is pregnant! She had IVF done at a clinical trial here in NYC. The first embryo transfer did not work, but the 2nd did. I am elated for her!
Until next time.....
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